Make Diabetes Visible: Day 2

Today’s image is actually a few years old and was created in response to the photo day prompt for Diabetes Blog Week.   While my diagnosis and some medications have changed since then, it’s still relevant as it captures so many aspects of my life with diabetes.

Sometimes, less really is more.  This one photo encompasses many of the aspects of my life with diabetes and congestive heart failure. It depicts all of the things that are a part of life each day.  All of the pills for my heart, all of the blood glucose checks, and all of the injections.  It pays tribute to events that are important to me.  The sculpture in the middle is the “Garden of Pain” piece that I did for Diabetes Art Day a while back.  And it offers a nod to technologies that make life with both diseases a little easier.  Meters that connect to smartphones and that well known hashtag I created on Twitter.

One image.  So many messages.  Less is more. #MakeDiabetesVisible

Save

Save

Posted in Diabetes Art, Diabetes Awareness Month, MakeDiabetesVisible | Leave a comment

Make Diabetes Visible: Day 1

How the day started

 

  That injections number is a little high based on my misdiagnosis and starting injectable medications a few years after diagnosis.  You get the idea though.

How the day is ending.  I swear I must have bolused water for dinner. Ugh!

Save

Posted in Diabetes Awareness Month, MakeDiabetesVisible | Leave a comment

Make Diabetes Visible Photo Challenge

So, I had an idea …  inspired by the weekly photo challenges that are all the rage on social media these days.  Only this challenge would run for a whole month and have an actual purpose.   Allow me to introduce the…

#MakeDiabetesVisible Photo Challenge

November is Diabetes Awareness Month and it begins tomorrow. During the next 30 days, I will be posting at least 1 photo a day that captures part of my life with diabetes. The goal is to make diabetes visible and show what it is like to live with ALL types of diabetes. The highs, the lows, the finger sticks, the meters, the pumps, the CGMs, the insulins, the pills, etc…

I invite all of my friends living with any type of diabetes to join me in this challenge.  30 days, 30 photos, ALL types of diabetes.  Any social media platform.  Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, whatever.

Please share, use the hashtag, and let’s #MakeDiabetesVisible

Thank you!

Save

Posted in Diabetes Awareness Month, MakeDiabetesVisible | 2 Comments

More Than Diabetes

Well, it’s the last day of Diabetes Blog Week and today we’re not talking about diabetes.  Because there’s more to life than diabetes.

Today’s Prompt: More Than Diabetes – Friday 5/19
Lets wrap up the week by sharing a little more about ourselves, beyond the chronic illness we or our loved ones live with.  Share an interest, hobby, passion, something that is YOU.  If you want to explore how it relates to or helps with diabetes you can.   Or let it be a part of you that is completely separate from diabetes, because there is more to life than just diabetes!  (This topic is a suggestion from the 2016 #DBlogWeek survey.)


When living with chronic health issues that require constant attention, it is easy to become so consumed by those thoughts that we lose sight of the fact that there’s more to life than just those health issues. Sure, they are always with us, but they should not be the center of attention all the time.

I much prefer to devote my time and attention to the people and things in my life that are the most important to me. Like April and the time we get to spend together. Nature photography and other arts.

For the past few years, April has been living in California while dealing with family matters, and I’m still carrying on life here in Indiana.  We don’t get to see each other often, so what time we are together is all the more meaningful.  My most recent trip to see her was in February, during the week of Valentine’s Day.  This was our 14th Valentine’s Day and it was important to me that we be able to spend it together in some special way. So, I arranged for us to spend a few days in San Francisco.

We did a lot of the typical touristy stuff that folks do when they go to San Francisco.  We spent time at Fisherman’s Wharf, the Aquarium of the Bay, and rode the trolleys and cable cars around town.  We spent time checking out some of the shops and art galleries as well.  All of that was planned and we enjoyed every minute of it.  But the most memorable thing we did on Valentine’s Day came about by accident.  And I’m so thankful that it did.

We happened upon an charter boat outfit that was offering cruises on the San Francisco Bay for an incredibly cheap price.  It was the last cruise of the day. A sunset cruise that would take us out under the Golden Gate Bridge and then around Alcatraz Island before returning to port.  So, we jumped at the opportunity and it was amazing.  When we reached the bridge, a crew member offered to take our photo for us.   I snapped a shot of us together as well.  And they are probably my favorite photos from the whole trip.  They capture us together and having a damn good time on a special day.

Those are precious memories that I hope will linger forever.  And that I hope to relive again someday soon.

In the mean time, I’m here in Indiana.  Trying to keep my head above water and finding things to occupy my time.  Most of my free time these days is spent on traveling, nature photography, and painting.  Spending time in nature and capturing the beauty around me is very therapeutic.  It helps me disconnect from the digital world in which I live and work.  It helps restore my sanity and gives me strength and peace in the hard times.  Painting is much the same for me.  Only messier.  Here’s a small sampling of my work.

There’s so much more to this life than diabetes.  There is so much more to me.  I try to remember that.  I hope you remember that as well.  And I hope that you’ll join me in pledging to remember that going forward.  Leave a comment to sign the pledge.  And, if you’d like, tell me who you’re signing for.  Why does it matter to you?   Thanks for reading.  Lots of love, my friends.


The Pledge

We, the undersigned, acknowledge and understand that we, as PWD’s, are not the only people affected by the disease with which we have been diagnosed. That our loved ones endure the struggles of this diagnosis along side us. We pledge to remember this, to show appreciation for their support, and to support them in return.

We, the undersigned acknowledge and understand that there is much more to life than diabetes and that it is important to take every opportunity to enjoy life in the moment. We pledge to stop and smell the roses and make memories, like the one above, as often as possible.

We, the undersigned, pledge to always remember the importance of making time for our families, and for ourselves.

Signed,

Mike Durbin. (And hopefully everyone who reads this. 🙂 )

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Posted in Diabetes Blog Week, Inspiration, Life, Photos | 16 Comments

Throwback Thursday: What Brings Me Down

Well, it’s day 4 of Diabetes Blog Week and today we talk about mental health and diabetes.  Today’s prompt reads:

Today let’s revist a prompt from 2014 – May is Mental Health Month so now seems like a great time to explore the emotional side of living with, or caring for someone with, diabetes. What things can make dealing with diabetes an emotional issue for you and / or your loved one, and how do you cope? (Thanks again to Scott for this 2014 topic.)


If you’ve followed my blog for any length of time, you’re likely aware that I’ve made no secret of my struggles with anxiety, depression, and PTSD. I’ve shared some pretty dark stuff on those topics over the last couple of years. When I wrote the Confessions of a Broken Man at the end of 2014, I was in such a bad place mentally that I was ready to end it. Obviously, I didn’t, but the possibility was real. A few months after that I shared about The Ah Ha Moment I had that led to my diagnosis with PTSD and that I was working to get back on the wagon. I’ve had success with that. Though I’m still struggling with some things, I’m in a much better place today. Life gets messy at times. And it’s OK to need help with cleaning things up. We just have to ask. I’m glad I finally did.

off-the-wagon2

Mantras, Reminders, and Walks in the Woods

On my worst days with diabetes and congestive heart failure, when everything seems to be going wrong and I’m ready to give up, I try to remember how far I’ve come since I started on this journey. I try to remember the struggles I’ve overcome this far and the strength and determination it took to do so. I try to use that as assurance that I can get through the difficulties before me. I say try because some days it works, and other days it makes no difference at all.

Some days, looking back through my blog archives for inspirational quotes that I’ve shared helps. This quote from a post in 2012 has become something of a mantra or motto. It’s certainly fitting.

“A little heart can do big things.” – me

Some times, though, I really just have to take the time to remember who I am, especially with the identity crisis I’ve faced since my diabetes label changed. I have to look inside myself and reconnect with the person that I know I am.

I am a strong, confident, caring, loving, and passionate man. I have a sound mind, and a strong spirit. I am well educated; possessing the knowledge and abilities needed to make it in this world. I am strong willed; filled with a sense of determination and endurance that will carry me through all situations. I am filled with respect, not only for others, but more importantly, for myself.

I’ve had more than my share of those days. And I’ve spent a great deal of time trying to reconnect and thinking things through. I’ve made progress. Slowly but surely.

I’ve found that the absolute best thing for helping my mood and clearing my mind is spending time hiking the trails at the many nature preserves in the area. And when the weather is cooperative, that’s how most of my days off from work are being spent. I take my nature and trail guides, camera, notebook, walking stick and water, and hit the trails. I stay out for hours at a time. And it helps a lot.

And taking my camera along on my walks in the woods has provided plenty of photos for sharing with friends.  Like this photo of a mother and father Bald Eagle in the nest with one of their eaglets.

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.

044A1703

One last quote. It’s one of my favorites.

“Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming … WOW! What a ride!” ~ Author Unknown


To read what others have shared on this topic, visit the link list @ Throwback Thursday: What Brings Me Down – Thursday 5/18

Save

Save

Save

Posted in Diabetes, Diabetes Blog Week, Inspiration, Life, Mental Health, Photos | 5 Comments

I’m Not Playing The Blame Game

Well, it’s day 3 of Diabetes Blog Week and today we talk about the blame game.  Except, I’m not really up to playing that game right now.  I mean, I could rant and rave about my misdiagnosis and how that happened and who is to blame for days.  I have.  But, I’m just not up to it.  That’s not why I’m here today.

Why am I here? Why are any of us here? Well…

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.” ~ Prince

This thing called diabetes life.

That’s why I’m here. That’s why My Diabetic Heart is here. It’s here because I was diagnosed with what was long thought to be type 2 diabetes, and also with congestive heart failure, at age 24.

I started writing here as a way to document what I was going through with the scary, life changing diagnoses that had been dropped in my lap. Writing helped me then and still does when I’m able to find the time and get the words I want to say out of my head.

As I continued sharing my story through the blog and other social media avenues, I found that what I was sharing helped other people who were going through some of the same things that I was. I found people who understood. I found community. I found encouragement and support. I found people who genuinely care and many are dear friends to this day.

They are my tribe. They help me get through this thing called diabetes life. And everything else that comes along for that matter. And I love them for that.

My tribe consists of people from all walks of life. Some live with Type 1 diabetes. Some live with Type 2 diabetes. Some folks, like myself, have LADA. Some have had gestational diabetes during pregnancy. Some are parents of children with type 1. Some are children who have parents with diabetes. Some are spouses of PWD. Some are just friends who support the cause. And some are just Type Weird.

Personally, I think we’re all Type Screwed. And that’s what should unite all of us.

At the end of the day, regardless of the type of diabetes a person may have, there are a few things that we all need in order to live well with the hand we’ve been dealt.

We all need and deserve access to good doctors, medications and supplies, and diabetes education.

We all need and deserve proper treatment regimens, tailored to our personal diabetes management needs by our doctors and not insurance company bean counters.

And last, but just as important, we absolutely must have the love and support of family and friends. Living with all types of diabetes is hell. And we really shouldn’t have to go through this alone.

We need better. We deserve better. And together we can achieve better.

Together, we just might get through this diabetes life. Lots of Love, Everyone.


To read what others have written for today’s topic, visit the link list @ The Blame Game – Wednesday 5/17 .  

Prompt: Having diabetes often makes a visit to the doctor a dreaded experience, as there is invariably bad news of one kind or another.  And sometimes the way the doctor talks to you can leave you feeling like you’re at fault.  Or maybe you have a fantastic healthcare team, but have experienced blame and judgement from someone else in your life – friend, loved one, complete stranger.  Think about a particularly bad instance, how that person talked to you, the words they used and the conversation you had.  Now, the game part.  Let’s turn this around.  If you could turn that person into a puppet, what would you have them say that would leave you feeling empowered and good about yourself?   Let’s help teach people how to support us, rather than blame us!  (Thank you, Brian, for inspiring this topic.)

Posted in Diabetes, Diabetes Blog Week | 7 Comments

The Costs of a Chronic Illness

It’s day two of Diabetes Blog Week, and today we talk about the costs of living with a chronic illness.

Today’s prompt:  The Cost of a Chronic Illness
Insulin and other diabetes medications and supplies can be costly.  Here in the US, insurance status and age (as in Medicare eligibility) can impact both the cost and coverage.  So today, let’s discuss how cost impacts our diabetes care.  Do you have advice to share?  For those outside the US, is cost a concern?  Are there other factors such as accessibility or education that cause barriers to your diabetes care?


Today’s prompt is timely, as the costs of living with diabetes have been a hot button issue as of late.  The costs of insulin and other supplies just keep rising and there’s no end to that in sight.  And there’s nothing but finger pointing going on between the big pharmaceutical companies, insurance companies, and prescriptions benefit managers, while patients are left with making difficult choices in order to get the life saving medications that they need.  It’s maddening and needs to stop.  But when will it?

I know that I’m fortunate to have the insurance coverage that I do through my employer.  I’d be dead without it.  But I’m still left struggling to pay for everything that I need most months.  The chart below is offers a glimpse of what my diabetes medications and supplies cost each month.  It’s broken down by cost without insurance, by what my insurance company pays, and by what I pay in copays.

Monthly Diabetes Medication/Supply Costs

I recently added a Dexcom Continuous Glucose Monitor to my diabetes tool box.  There were upfront costs for that, and there will be ongoing monthly costs as well.  Here’s a look at that:

Dexcom Cost breakdown
Dexcom G5 Mobile Transmitter – $984.60

Dexcom Receiver – $156.71

Dexcom G4 Platinum sensors – $319.20 ($106.40 per box of 4.  x 3 months).

Total out of pocket cost:  $1,460.52

Not included are the costs for lancets, glucose tabs, alcohol prep wipes, Tegaderm and opsite flexifix, and any other supply that I’m forgetting.

And these are just the month expenses for managing my diabetes.  This doesn’t even account for the expenses related to managing the congestive heart failure, PTSD, asthma, acid reflux, sleep apnea, etc… that are also included in my collection of awful chronic illnesses.

I could rant about the financial side of this all day.

But the costs aren’t just financial…

My chronic illnesses cost me so much more than money.

How much time have I lost to checking my blood glucose multiple times a day?  To the multiple daily injections of insulin that I take? Those minutes add up.  And that’s not to mention the mental anguish of stabbing yourself with needles all the time.  Good grief.

How many hours have I lost sorting all of the oral medications that I take each day? It’s a necessary evil, but I hate it so much.

How many special moments have I missed with family and friends because I just wasn’t well enough to be there?  Too many.

How much sleep have I lost to fears that my heart would give out in the middle of the night?  I’ve lost count.

How many times have I considered suicide because it’s all become too much to handle? More than you want to know.

And speaking of family and friends…

What have my chronic illnesses cost them?  Heartache, worry, grief, money, and memories.  And so much more.  Because I’m not the only one living with them.  Their lives are touch by them as well.

That’s the hardest part of life with chronic illnesses…

It costs too fucking much!


To read what others have written about the cost of living with a chronic illness, visit the link list @ The Cost of a Chronic Illness – Tuesday 5/16

Save

Save

Save

Posted in Depression, Diabetes, Diabetes Blog Week, Health, Heart, Lessons Learned, Life, Medications, Mental Health, Rants | 6 Comments

Diabetes and The Unexpected: Top 10 List

Welcome to day one of Diabetes Blog Week, an annual initiative organized by my dear friend, Karen, over at Bitter~Sweet Diabetes. I’m both excited and proud to participate and support this event for the 8th consecutive year. 

Today’s topic: Diabetes and The Unexpected
Diabetes can sometimes seem to play by a rulebook that makes no sense, tossing out unexpected challenges at random. What are your best tips for being prepared when the unexpected happens?  Or, take this topic another way and tell us about some good things diabetes has brought into your, or your loved one’s, life that you never could have expected?


From the the Islets of Langerhans, in the pit of my Confusing Pancreas, here are the top 10 things that I didn’t expect in my life with diabetes.

10.  I didn’t expect to start a blog about my life with diabetes and congestive heart failure, or for it to still be around 8 years later.

9.  I didn’t expect to find such an amazing community as I’ve found in the Diabetes Online Community.

8. I didn’t expect to meet so many wonderful people because of my diagnosis.

7. I certainly never expected to be traveling the country to meet strangers I met online.

6. I didn’t expect diabetes to impact every aspect of my life.  But it does.

5. I didn’t expect to deal with as much burnout as I have.  This shit is hard to live with 24/7/365.

4. I never expected to find test strips in the microwave, the fridge, or dryer lint trap. They are everywhere!

3. I never imagined that it would all cost so fucking much. Even with insurance.

2. I didn’t expect a label to mean so much in terms of my treatment options, the stigmas I would face, and my identity.

And finally, the number one thing I didn’t expect in my life with diabetes is:

1. Surprise, you were misdiagnosed 7 years ago! You don’t have Type 2 diabetes, You have LADA!

And there you have tonight’s top 10 list, ladies and gentlemen.  Good night, folks!


To read what others have written for today’s topic, visit the link list @ Diabetes and The Unexpected – Monday 5/15 .

Posted in Diabetes, Diabetes Blog Week | 4 Comments

HealtheVoices17: The Session Illustrations

During the weekend of April 21-23, I had the opportunity to attend the HealtheVoices17 conference in Chicago.  It was an amazing experience, bringing together 105 advocates from around the world, who represented 35 different health conditions.   I’m still trying to wrap my head around the events of the weekend, and will have more posts on it soon.  As a start, though, I want to share the illustrations that two incredibly talented artists created to document each session as they were taking place.  Great work, Monica and Kevin!

Day 1

Group session: Energy Management with Rhonda Waters

Group Session: Together We Thrive: The Power of Our Stories

Panel Discussion: Combatting the Stigma of Chronic Illness

Empathy and Emotion: Navigating the Advocacy Landscape
While Maintaining Your Own Mental Well-Being

Day 2

Group Session: The Facebook Family of Apps & the Patient Journey

Breakout Session: How to be an Effective Policy Advocate

Breakout Session: Storytelling in a Mobile World

Breakout Session: Advocacy Beyond the Blog:
Making the Most out of a Medical Meeting

Breakout Session: Panel Discussion: Media 101:
Approaching and Building Relationships with the Media

Breakout Session: Here’s How to Get Video Done

Breakout Session: How to Grow Your Audience Smartly and Effectively

Breakout Session: Creating Credible, Strong Content –
How to Interpret and Share Scientific Data with Your Audience

Breakout Session: Panel Discussion: Showing Your Expertise
While Financially Supporting Your Online Advocacy

Group Session: The 10 Fundamentals of YouTube:
How to Set a Creative Strategy

Disclaimer: Janssen paid for my travel expenses for the conference.  All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.

Posted in HealtheVoices17 | 1 Comment

Adding a Dexcom to my Diabetes Toolbox

Dexcom G5 Mobile transmitter and receiver

So, back in December, I had a chance to test drive a Dexcom continuous glucose monitor (CGM) through my Endocrinologist’s office.  I had been curious about the device and my Endo wanted to capture some data to get a better idea as to what adjustments we needed to make to my insulin dosages, etc… So, I met with the diabetes educator in the office, was trained and setup with the Dexcom, and then spent a week using it to track my numbers, insulin, carbs, exercise, etc…  It was a good experience overall, and I definitely saw the potential benefits using a Dexcom on a regular basis.  And I really wasn’t ready to give it back after a week.

In early March, after pondering the move for quite a while, I decided to explore whether I could get one or not.  I had questions.  Would my insurance even approve it? What would it cost? Could I afford another monthy expense?  Was this really something that I wanted?  So, I sent my information to Dexcom and they began the process of checking my insurance benefits.  I was eventually referred to Edgepark Medical Supplies as they are the third-party durable medical equipment distributor that my insurance prefers.  Edgepark provided a cost breakdown and gave me time to think things over while we waited for the insurance company to process the required prior authorization.

Dexcom G4 Platinum sensors

Cost breakdown
Dexcom G5 Mobile Transmitter – $984.60

Dexcom Receiver – $156.71

Dexcom G4 Platinum sensors – $319.20 ($106.40 per box of 4.  x 3 months).

Total out of pocket cost:  $1,460.52

As I said, I wasn’t sure if I actually wanted one of these things.  And the cost was definitely going to be a factor.  That total out of pocket cost was with the insurance.  My out of pocket deductible hadn’t been met, so I would have to bear the brunt of the cost up front.  I just didn’t know.  Lots to ponder.

Then, on April 10th, I received a voicemail that appeared to indicate the insurance had approved the Dexcom.   I returned the call to verify that and, to my amazement, the answer was yes.  And when the insurance company actually approves something on the first try, you have to strike while you can.  So, I placed order.  I still have reservations about the cost going forward, but I’ll figure that out later.

I received my order on Good Friday of all days, and have been using the Dexcom since Sunday evening.  The first 24 hours were a bit rough, but this is new and I’ll get used to it.  This is a good thing.

And the timing is perfect as I will have the Dexcom as I travel to Chicago tomorrow evening in preparation for the #2ruthInNumbers and #HealtheVoices17 conferences.  Learning on the go.

Ciao!

Save

Save

Save

Posted in Diabetes, Health, Insurance, Lessons Learned, Life, Photos | 1 Comment